Hero’s Curse

I’m sure that there are as many ways to start writing a book as there are authors. I start writing by first asking myself, “Who do I want to make fun of next?” I came up with the Sustainable Earth series to make fun of do-gooders, specifically politically correct environmentalists. After writing ‘Year of the Dead’ and ‘Death by Revelation’, I realized that I needed a break from this series. I know that many of you want the 3rd book in this trilogy out ASAP but guys, two books published after just 8 months of writing is intense. To keep the quality up in this series, I’ll need to let ideas germinate in my sick and twisted mind until they’re ready to harvest. I’m not there yet.

When I asked myself who I wanted to make fun of next, my first thought was atheists. It occurred to me that thousands maybe millions of books are out there that mock religions, but to the best of my knowledge, none make fun of atheists. I wept at the thought of hundreds of thousands of atheists going to bed every night wondering, “Why isn’t anyone making fun of me?”

Before you go running for the hills screaming, “Oh no, not another Christian themed book!” please hear me out. I’m not Christian. I call myself a Deist. I would like to believe in a benevolent force that cares about humanity. I can’t pretend that if a deity exists that I know anything about him/her. Given the choice of believing in random chance versus fate; I prefer fate. Unfortunately, I’m a show-me kind of guy. It’s hard for me to believe in anything without proof. I decided it would be interesting to write a story about a man who didn’t want to believe who was given absolute proof of the existence of a God who was watching every move he made.

I’ve read the Bible many times—not as a believer but because, it’s an interesting book; I love the antique words and the cadence of the English used in the King James Version. I’ve always been struck by how often the analogy of as shepherd and a flock of sheep is used to describe the relationship between God and man. This is interesting because all shepherds eat mutton. Sheep herds wouldn’t exist if people didn’t need wool and meat. Is the Bible trying to tell us something?

I know the stereotype of the judgmental, closed minded believer. I know there are religious fanatics out there—I read about them all the time in the news. But, the religious people I know, the ones who are personal friends of mine or are relatives, are awesome people. They’re centered and they have inner peace because they believe in something greater than themselves. My religious friends and family don’t judge anyone including nonbelievers like me. I realize that this might be selection bias—the people who like me tend to be intelligent and open minded. I’m not trying to claim this is true of all believers, just the ones I know.

On the other hand, the atheists I know are extremely judgmental. Based on my personal interactions with atheists, I get the sense that most of them have the absolute conviction that they are smarter than everyone else and that anyone who disagrees with them are idiots. What really bugs me is, I get the impression, they think they’re smarter than me which clearly is ridiculous; no one is smarter than me. These kinds of atheists need to be mocked.

So here’s my attempt to fill an aching literary void. I’ve imagined a world where the Christian God, angels, multiple dimensions, trolls, elves, and witches all co-exist. ‘Hero’s Curse’ is the first book of a new series called the Paladin Files. In the Paladin Files the King James Bible is an accurate but incomplete description of our Universe and atheists are completely and absolutely wrong about everything. I don’t kill them off or treat them badly. I just make them wrong (and then I laugh) which I think is the worst thing I could do to them.

This book, like my others will have a sociopathic hero who ends up doing more good than evil and a lot of action. The following are sample chapters. These are rough incompletely edited samples that may not make it into my final manuscript. After you read them please let me know what you think.

I’ll leave you with my tried and true farewell, “Your comments may change my book and therefore the fate of the Universe.”

Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10